What to Do When Your Student Is Struggling

College is often touted as the best time in your life — that time when you’re finally living on your own, but still protected by your family, financially and otherwise. Yet for many students, college can bring struggles, both academic and psychological. While these struggles are often temporary, they’re still important to identify and treat.

Psychological struggles
Between 20 and 25 percent of SNC students meet with a counselor at some point during the academic year, says staff from counseling and psychological services. This figure is consistent with other small, private colleges like SNC that provide high levels of support to their students. Anxiety is a common reason, as it has now replaced depression as the No. 1 mental health issue facing college students.

What’s behind the spike in anxiety? No one knows for sure. But many experts believe it’s due to expectations, social media and the pandemic. First, today’s students were told as kids that they could be anything they wanted to be. But when they get to college, some realize they’re actually not going to be able to attain their dream career. Or, if they can attain it, it’s going to take a lot more energy, effort and time management than they thought.

The overwhelming presence of social media can also feed anxiety. Students are used to handling relationships and conflict online or through social media, not face-to-face or in real time. But on campus, that’s exactly what they have to do. The lack of anonymity, in particular, can be intimidating.

In addition to these two factors, the current first-year students have had nearly all four years of high school disrupted with a combination of in-person, online and hybrid classes. They experienced uncertainty, inconsistencies, lack of direction, assignments that had due dates that were extended or eliminated, and confusion as to what to expect from one day to the next.

This has led to an uptick in students struggling with the transition to college, as they have difficulty regulating emotions, making decisions and solving problems, experts say.

Some students also have problems differentiating between expected and unmanageable discomfort. It’s normal for students to experience some difficulties as they navigate college academics and life on campus, away from the comforts of home. But while not every discomfort is unmanageable, some students perceive them to be.

To help, faculty and staff at St. Norbert are proactively meeting students where they live, work and play, rather than waiting for them to contact Counseling & Psychological Services (CAPS). The philosophy: Mental health is everyone’s responsibility.

As parents, you play an important role in helping your student, too.

1. Make a practice of regularly checking in to ask how things are going. Many students won’t proactively call a parent when something is wrong. But if a parent happens to call when they’re stressed, they’ll often spill the beans.

2. Be direct. If something seems off when you call your student, come right out and say, “You seem sad/quieter/moody. Is something wrong?” 

3. Have a plan. Talk to your student about potential stressors, then discuss how to address them if they become problematic. And if your student has had a mental health struggle in the past, encourage them to proactively meet with a CAPS counselor to discuss ways to prevent it from emerging again. Should something still go awry down the line, having that initial connection can be critical.

Academic struggles
College is a big adjustment. Students suddenly have enormous independence, more rigorous coursework and new social dynamics — factors that can combine to trip up the most seasoned learner. It’s not surprising, then, that St. Norbert’s office of academic success, support and accessibility tends to see more first-year students every year. 

Corey Ciesielczyk, director, says some students need help with time management and with adjusting to college-level reading, writing and note-taking. Many struggle with communication, especially when it comes to having meaningful face-to-face conversations with their professors. “It takes an adjustment period, but they usually settle in and get their footing underneath them,” he says.

As with mental health issues, monitor your student’s progress by openly asking about classes and grades. Be alert for warning signs that something is amiss. “If your son or daughter doesn’t seem their normal self, or if they give you short answers when you ask how things are going, that’s typically a sign something is wrong,” he says. 

Another warning sign can be found on social media. If you notice your student using Snapchat or Instagram at 2 a.m. on a weeknight, they’re probably not getting enough sleep, which can hamper studies.

Be aware, too, that mental health issues are often intertwined with academic issues. One can cause the other and vice versa. 

If you’re worried something may be amiss with your student, give CAPS or Academic Success, Support & Accessibility a call. While they may be limited in what they can disclose to you due to confidentiality regulations, the offices can definitely reach out to your student. 

Last updated Nov. 2, 2023.